No Coincidence

Do you happen to ask yourself what ifs? Buts? Do you always wonder what had happened if you had made right turn instead of left? A lot of us make a fuss over misfortune. When I read this passage somewhere a long time ago: 'Your fortune is other's misfortune', I have adhered to that fact. That's why, 'everything happens for a reason' quote was scribbled.
I always believed in karma. It's just a terminology though but yes it's really true.
Everything that happens to my life now has provided me answers to difficult times previously. For the decisions that I made. For heartaches I felt. But above all, those what ifs, but and everything happens for a reason had honed me. Not personality but attitude.
When I was young and not yet equipped to reason and understand the basic principle of survival, I always reacted easily. When I see people staring at me, I stared back. Heard rumor they have circulated about me, I always tend to explain my side. But as I entered the hall of adulthood, I find myself more control over my emotions. At times, I would ask, do I deserve all these?
I graduated April 2000. I landed on my first job here in Manila, August 2000. My superiors were not so supportive with me and expected me to be an excellent worker. Hello! I was a fresh graduate! I was naive! How'd you expect me to excel (agad-agad!) when I don't have the slightest idea of a corporate life? Then, there was comparison and insecure co-employees. I decided to leave rather than deal with them, I had my own self esteem issue to face in the first place.
Got another job after 2 weeks. Loved the run to and fro. The shoot and meetings for coffee table book. Even had a short stint for Intel AVP. And again, another superior issue. Would you have stayed if you waited for printing of some photos for magazine and calendars to deliver to your boss' house at 3 am just to receive *&%^*76^^#@*! Did I bring the wrong material? What have I done?
When I went home, I have sworn I will never return to office again. I was earning 5 digits that time but I decided to go back to Visayas instead of finding my gold bar in Manila.
I decided hastily without thinking.
After 5 months of being unemployed and no-penny-but-lets-party, I worked for a travel agency paying me 120 pesos per day. Career?
After 4 months I went home to Kalibo, Aklan to promote Bankard. I was earning back then. But...
My husband and I met and the rest was history.
We are 9 years in marriage now. Not a smooth sailing one but we are surviving. Two opposing personalities  but with God's guidance we're still here.
Looking back, He had already prepared me for this. This has been written long time ago.
I was in Manila and why do I have to go back just to fetch and meet my destiny.
It wasn't a good decision, if I only allow my human mind to reason out. Especially with tough times and getting tougher. If I didn't hold on tight to the rope I might have drown myself and picked myself up somewhere. But no!
I can always turn my back. I can always say it's enough but there's deeper than these.
We made decisions and faced challenges together.
Everything fits now and I can always say there's no coincidence. It is purely, divine intervention.
I can not just write everything here about mushy mushy romance or Romeo and Juliet stuff. This is reality.
I didn't lose myself one bit but I just succumbed to blend with other personalities.
I didn't give my all but retain a portion for myself though there were times I was looking for me at the dark.
My decision of getting married at the age of 22 was never a mistake. Probably to some who might not be so interested in my story will say, I wasted my youth. But hey! I'm a whole person now.
Every challenge was accounted for.
We have transferred houses several times. We do not have sufficient funds to support this life we chose but we have just  enough and we survived.
This year was the very challenging year for our lives. As long as I can remember, this one has put me on the verge of insanity.
We went home to province last summer with extravagance. I was thinking, I might not be able to go home this December because of work. We spent so much money on that vacation. Then I traveled to Barcelona, Spain for the Bayer Asia Pacific High Performance Club, I have spent not much but caused me 2 rounds of run to the grocery for the family though. Then, enrollment. No monetary funds left, everything spilled to expenses. And we risked moving out from a no-rental house to a PDC released apartment with 4-month security deposit. It's costly. We emptied our pockets.
August.
This was the month my parents stayed with us. My father was diagnosed with Lung Cancer stage 4 and to and fro to the hospital. Blood transfusion and hydration. He lost almost every muscle he has. Drooping eyes. High cheek bones. Bone and skin. For 2 months they were with me. Errand girl. Driver. I think a lot. I run a lot. I loss some weight. I even lost focus on my husband and daughter's affair.
So this is where the decision of keeping this apartment for?
I used to ask how matured people think. So this is it? I thought I could always get away with adult stuff.
When my father said to my mother that they were always left behind. Their children have their own lives, this is God's way of telling us it's pay back time.
My brother and I were the black sheeps of the family. We think independently. We have lived without our parents scrutiny when we were in college. We developed maturity outside of our home. Our parents have thought, we would not care. My brother lived with me. And now my parents are with us. What's the message then? Painful but God weaved all this finely.
My marriage life is not a bed of roses. Thorns everywhere. We have decisions that when you are at it at the moment, you'll go crazy.
With all these ups and downs, love conquers all. My parents realized, they have brought their children up properly. That we may have our own dealings but they will be our priority. That my siblings will not think twice to lend each one a hand in the family in any way they can. That my husband and I need to anchor our relationship firmly and accept our frailties. That my daughter has faced challenges early on but has witnessed a love so rooted deeply.
And each of us has created a relationship with Father God no one has the right to question.
Everything was written. Intertwined. Well planned. No coincidence but divine intervention.