Who would have thought that love would find me? I never was afraid to fall inlove but I longed for true love eversince. I had wrong turns but I knew every deadend had a crevice where I could creep in. I was not afraid of closed areas. I cringed with heights but I have always pushed myself a notch higher. What didn't kill me, made me stronger.
I fell in love with romantic comedies. I appreciated flowers, butterflies and bees. I cried over friends who appeared so sincere and caring. I easily sympathized with persevering less fortunates. My heart was comprised of soft spots and it was broken so many times. Expectations always led to disappointments and then frustrations but my heart was always willing to try. To trust. To love again. Not necessarily romantically but I knew I always gave a portion of me whenever I gave my time to someone. To anybody. Unprejudiced.
I believed in forever and I know, I've always known, I would get there.
Until my one day came. That day when finally my heart somersaulted and maintained its upside down state while jumping on one palm stand. Love is a choice. Happiness is innate. I was happy. I was complete but I choose to be happier. I fell hard. Love found me, at last! When I thought contentment was my nametag.
It feels so good to belong to someone else. To lower down my defenses and to see how weak my edges are. How imperfect the whole of me.
It's good to have someone leading me the familiar way, I looked at it in a different perspective. To hold my hand with intertwining fingers. To accept my frailties and to let me know I am the perfect defect. To say those familiar words yet they seemed so foreign, they're enchanting.
It's good to have someone who claim me as his own. I belong to noone but I don't mind the labeling now and I gave authority to this person to hold me captive in infinity.
Love never promised of all milk and honey but love is always fair. 1 Cor 13: 4-13. The verses were all words before. They were all concepts. But if you truly discern the reality of the promises, all aspects are true.
I can't say, I won't go through hurdles but I can choose stumbling blocks I will deal with.
Love found me when I was already 35. Experienced enough to be fooled again. Wiser enough to be lured once more. But there was the sweet calling of the crossing wind. It was like a vocation I once felt when I was 18 which I assumed as walking the convent's shadowed cloister but worldly noise prevented me to. I tasted bitterness of the bottle and sniffed the clouds of lit cigars. The world offered so much distractions I innocently succumbed with open arms. Lessons. Plenty of those. I counted back the teachings I learned from every rise and fall. Those geared me to look love in the eyes, and I knew, it finally found me in nudity.
It feels good to be babied. To cling on to someone even if some may call it, teenish. Love is ageless.
It feels good to be spoon fed in restaurants or infront of some significant people.
It feels good to be protected while crossing the street. Like Magneto is there to rise his hand and manipulate all metals that posted threats.
It feels good to be asked if I want something even if I just looked at the window in oblivion.
It feels good to be cared about even if I didn't ask anything.
It feels good to look at him in adoration and feel my heart jump for joy.
It feels good to lay my head on his chest and listen to the sound of his heartbeat.
It feels good to feel peace with the sound of his breaths.
It feels good to feel his damp skin on mine.
It feels good to be loved.
To be adored.
To hear the I love yous like static on a broken radio frequency.
The promise of security gives me enough strength to live each day even two huge ocean separate us.
And one thing I will be holding on, I wear the circlet precious metal with stones on my finger and the ties suspended in the compressed air.
My one day came when I said yes with all my cells singing in unison with tear drops and goosebumps.
I am sharing this story because now I know, love set me free.
