Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Drama in Real Life

You have been part of the orchestrated plan. 
You played your part so well and even cried the pain deeply under the cover of your bed. You laughed at the most corny jokes and the touches made you tingled all over. 
That kisses on the forehead, which you have been so long dreamt to be done to you. 
The smelling of your hair. 
The way the fingers comb your hair and small kisses on your temple. 
Sleeping holding hands with your fingers interlocking each of his. 
Waking up mornings with a smile and big hugs. 
Pages of fictions are crumpled and there are chosen pages which have bookmarked, probably those lines where you have related to. 
Prior, you had lived in a world of what you believed was composed of fate or destiny or kermit. You caged yourself in the status where you thought was divine intervened. 
You tried gracing the world according to the norm that was dictated by the society you belonged. Despite all the tears and longingness, you had that strong belief that you were just acting your best part.  You perceived your life as something fatally fated and there was no turning back. Despite all the bruises, dilemmas and struggles, you instilled in your mind that the pit you were once into was your whole life. That you had to abide with the doctrines and you had to act the pledged you had once. 
Others will not believe the sufferings you had gone through. People will always say what they want according to the perspective they stubbornly wanted to see. They will never look at your view because they deliberately angled their sight slightly differ from yours. They would never fit in your shoes because they too are living the normal way of what they are being dictated to. They will never believe that love never existed but the sole reason of staying was you tried hard to fall but there were closed windows and doors.
You swallowed up everything. There was a banquet which you were not free to choose but to grab everything and just burp the nasty taste and snatch out again. Character, cultures, pride, doctrines and traditions. And yes you were even blind-folded. Noone dictated. You had your own free will. Yes to everything! Just making sure you had pleased everybody. But the mere fact that you already unleashed yourself from the surreal world, are you going to tie yourself again. 
Like.. Again? 
It was a multi-faceted drama in real life. Friends had seen you struggle getting out of the tight close-knitted tapestry. But how you took steps away was the beginning of your solo performance. It was all beam balancing and you fell, several times and spectators were there to rejoice every downfall you had.
You dealt with several tachycardia attacks before you finally found the hands who pulled you through the hole. 
It was a life worth living because it comprised and contributed fragments of the whole new you. 
You equipped yourself with the gears you thought you would never need and you found a prince for your Cinderella self.  You weaved a lie amidst the truth. And the utmost happiness you feel is all you have held on to. But checking the bitter sweet reality, you are screwing up everything. 
Again, it was a whole orchestrated life.
Are you trying to relive a history? 
Stop.
U-turn.
Never look back. 
Jump out of the train for you are stepping on the same shit! 
That is how movies should be. 
Real.
Not always a happy ending.