TROLLEDEMANILLE

I am not sure if the spelling above is right. I have turned to trash the persistent garbage who had been bugging my blog.

This is my private domain so whatever I write here are my own thoughts, my words and my own trash, not yours, faceless nuisance!

When you want to say something just to insult me, approach me in person and do not spit here. I have been looking for you all over the net and you are unidentified, meaning spam! No! Spam is expensive, you are not even a meat loaf but a rubbish!

I have not moderated posting of comments on this blog before, thinking, people will be well-mannered enough to use appropriate language.

What's with you and the 25 pesos worth of publication in Quiapo? For sure you are not one of them. They are artists, not faceless vermin gnawing languidly on filth.

I am not supposed to mind you but using the same foul language you have there and calling me nasty words, I can consent no more.

I am using this medium to pour out my emotions and you happen to came across this and you got fascinated, now it dawns on you, you can not write even just a full 5-sentence paragraph and you are calling me names? YOU ARE PATHETIC HIDING YOUR SCARRED FACE WITH AN ALIAS!

This person happens to be calling me names and swearing in Tagalog. What's with you? You are crossing boundaries you are not supposed to.

I don't have talent in writing? Yes, you are right probably but this is not for you to decide should I stop or not. I respect, you are practicing your democratic right but be very discreet not to flaunt your identity in public because I can actually test democracy on you too!

Quiapo artists selling their works at 25 pesos are better than my writing, yeah I believe so! But this is no profit generating publication, mind you. THIS IS MY PERSONAL BLOG WHICH HAPPENS TO VACUUMED THE GREEN MONSTER OUT OF YOU!

I don't hang around Starbucks, if you ogle over those people who have pennies to spare on expensive cup of coffee, wait until someone leaves a half emptied cup and devour on the remaining sips. That way you'll stop dreaming how it tastes like.

Try Seattle's Best, UCC and Coffee Bean, some writers burn cash there and be careful they have auto-shredder, they might pick on you as useless.

This is what it uses, "It" because it refers to neuter, faceless, unidentified object, not a person, not even animal because I own two dogs who happen to be humane than this monster. http://trolledemanille.livejournal.com/ --- Try to search. 

Mark as bug, spam is exorbitant to refer to this coward.

Apology for the outburst, readers.

Well again, this is my blog. I do post responsibly until I came across this dung that contaminated my whole demeanor. 

Next time, I'll be executing more refined behavior but I'll be carrying a rustic double bladed dagger with me.

POSSIBILITY

I have been in a multifaceted emotions these past few days. I am trying to look back and see where I am already at. I have achieved a lot but I know it's not enough.


I have a lot of aspirations and one of those is to be happy. I am not saying, I am not but the happiness that would spring from the inside. Where no one and nothing would brag you to wake up every morning and a smile should linger on your face for no reason at all.


Study shows that, early 30ish is the moment where you really look at yourself as someone elevating from where you were 2-3 years prior. Where are you? What have you achieved so far? Have you stepped up the ladder of success or you have been on a plateau for quite some time now?


I have always asked my purpose. I know what I need to be done and what I have to do. I need to reinvent myself in order to avoid being a moth to the flame. 


The opportunities are widely spread, you might already have stumbled upon it once and you have not recognize it's already for you. I have disregarded all the glory of being where I should be. I enjoyed the comfort of my present zone and I just thought of it as a contentment. But am I? 


Contentment is all in the mind, you might say. I have been into that logic for a while and fought for my previous choices. Of course, once you put your decision into something and it appeared you got the wrong one, you tend to shield yourself from any regrets and blames. But try to analyze deeper, are you really happy?


Happiness should not be a by product of success but it should be a precursor to the latter. If you are wearing happiness on your sleeves then most likely, your goal for the day will undoubtedly blend in to your achievements.


It is tiring to wake up one day and you feel you need to rise because you have obligations.  Why not try to wake up because you are tired of lying down and your system kicks you to rise and paint the town red.


The question of contentment lies whether are you happy or are you already burn out?


Before the flames die down, before the sun sets, before the light goes out, I have to repair the damages and patch the holes the boredom has triggered.


Life is a multifaceted emotions, you just have to choose your hue. 


I am not keeping my fingers crossed, I have the Sovereign Force to pick one for me.


I am ready to glide on an arch of a rainbow, once I selected the wrong one, I have an array of options on my foot. 


Happiness is a state of mind, yet you really have to make the right choices. 


When it seems a dead end, right or left might not exist but there will always be a U-turn to correct whatever erroneous decisions you have executed.


I am.




*image from funnbee4.blogspot.com

I thought so..

2011 was not a good year. I was on the other side of the see-saw but I was at the higher end. You think, I am fortunate? Yes, I also thought so. But gravity pulls object to the ground. As much as I want to defy the force, I can't. You can just turn your back from a magnet but never from the power of the Earth's inner core.

I fell. Hard! Ouch!

Then I thought, I would just rise and walk away but no! I stumbled once more, then another then another.

My knees were scraped. Painful but I never cried out. What for? I'm brave! No one should know I was bleeding. Put a make up on, masscara to curl lashes, smiled and picture perfect!

That's the best I've got! Pretensions!

I took all the blow. I was like a hermit crab, oftentimes, I could hide. I could crawl and hide.

Forces wrecked my hiding place.

I was left naked, vulnerable and bruised.

I run to climb a sturdy tree to realize it was just a shadow of a burning bush.

My pretense collapsed.

I am alone.

In this dark alley, I have no one.

The glimpse of 2012 sent me hope.

I clawed my way up.

I settled at the highest peak.

I became my own master.

I am strong, you lean on me.

I am tall, climb up on me.

I am brave..

No I am not!

2012 is already halfway, is there still hope?

I nod.

Tears

Heavy rain pour outside
Feels like it comes
With my aching heart
I am staring at the ceiling
But gazing past the white painted wood
I am in this position
Six hours, almost
I am not bored
I just realized
I have been so active all my life
I got tired
And now I owe myself
This rest
Blank stares
And empty mind
The rain water keeps on
Pounding the window pane
Calling me outside
I look up to see the dark skies
I whisk the cover off me
And slide out of bed
As I open the door
The wind kisses my cheeks
Telling me it's always alright
To have fun in the rain
And I let go of the tears
For so long have been kept
I wail and mourn out
The ennui I have inside
Tomorrow promises
Another day.