HELICOPTERS & POLICE

Parents will always be parents, no matter what.

When I was growing up, I was a victim of politics in school. My mother told me that during my preschool, I was supposed to land on 5th place of honors students. My mother didn't wear make up and fancy clothes, not even friends with my teachers. She wore dress she was comfortable with. She didn't care about the fashion sense of other mothers who hovered in school. Simply, because all she cared was my performance in my class or was the tuition fee paid equated my knowledge acquired in school?

I ended up on the 8th spot during the graduation ceremony of my preschool. My mother was frantic but kept mum about it. Futile emotions.

On my first grade, I represented my class for Math Quiz bee and other bees but my parents didn't back me up. Lesson learned from my preschool, they did not want to be tagged as parents who patrol my school. In other words, they sent me to school to learn, to excel and that's it. I brought home the bacon and my father would usually brag about it to his friends and family. But other than that, nothing more.

Nowadays, I get pissed with some parents bragging about their kids' achievements, maliciously. Sometimes, some of them intentionally boast about their children and overshadowing your own. Time Magazine had published one article last year about Helicopter Parents. They are the kind who hover their children and eclipsing yours, too. They are push-overs, goal and output oriented and who feel so antsy with their children's school performances.

I thought this happens only here in the Philippines, with the kind of experience I am dealing with, with the two schools of my daughter. I even thought, it must be the Filipino culture of 'pee-squirting contest' but hey! This is a global epidemic.

A friend of mine in Canada presently experiences the same. And some others who I must say have the same personality as mine, who happened to be, I-know-my-kids-capability-let's- wait-after-college, but then again while at the plane of this current journey, it is too nerve whacking and angst-sucking attitude especially from strangers who open their mouth just to brag about their children and yours is just a mediocre.

I may happen to have a child in her elementary years but this occurrence enveloped most the populace. Aside from Helicopter parents, there is what you call, Police Parents. They guard the achievements of their children, push them to excel while sniping on other parents' moves. You should not surpass their children's performances or else, they will go gaga over it and find another fault to talk about you. They are insatiable. Green eyed monsters and always thirsty of recognition.

Two things why HP and PP exist. One, they have been hovered and policed while growing up, and they are trying to pass on the scythe. Or, two, they are losers who got mixed up with great genes, and find their children the best rebound materials to tell the world: I won! You suck!

These kind of people primarily exist on host. They are like parasites, feeding from unsuspecting hosts. While you smile and look at them straight in the eyes, you are one friend they need, but once you turn your back, you are the best appetizer to their gossip-hungry monsters.

There are different parenting styles and there are different kinds of people. Even identical twins are never the same, after all. Why not try to bring up a child from your home the best way you can, the way you wished your parents have brought you, that way this world will be a better place to live in. You don't want me hovering and policing you and your child, do you?

Parents will always be parents but we can always be better parents than ours, not compare to other parents of our own generation. Parenting style evolves from previous ones just like technology. And one thing, let's mind our own business, suppress insecurities and stop pointing at others' parenting mistakes, it only shows off the color of your bones and own insecurities.

Let the children enjoy their youths. We may not be fully aware, but who your children in school, how they deal with their teachers and classmates are the reflection of how you deal with them at home. Do you want another you? Or you want to give your child his own identity?

The choice is all yours.