How Can I Not Love You That Much?

When loving you means pricking those tiny veins and just that, those short sparks ignite a fire in my nerves, in my whole being. Those unexplainable words I almost lost the grasp each passing moment. Like I just have to resort to diversion in order for me not to drown in the depth of how I feel towards you. That I always believed I am capable of loving one person this big but the truth blew me away, away to where fantasy becomes so real, I don't wanna return to the physical world.

How can I not love someone like you? How can I deny the whole anatomy of my heart to beat for you when you showed me how yours bleeds for me? When you finally succumbed to the fullness of your capacity to love and you are willing to surrender even the simpliest yes or no. Like, you showed me the epitome of love. Sacrifice. The oneness. The simply being in love.

How the world brought you to my life? What was that magnetic force that pulled you which you effortlessly danced with. Like, really? Probably, it was just time for rendezvous.

How can I say no to the invitation of forever?  To try the roller coaster ride of what real love is? To just keep holding the reins and never let go, even for a nanosecond?

How can I not love you then?

How can I defy the gravity that keeps on pulling me? With eyes so kind and almost in adoration of me, almost. You can tell me otherwise.

How?

When loving you now is like breathing fresh air and undertaking detox. My mornings are scented with dews of an awesome evening with smooches and neverending promises of orgasms and cuddles. How then can I say no to a man who swallows his pride whenever I lost touch of reality during my ovulation and monthly periods? How?

When love taught you how to read long prose even you are not into reading because I write. When love requires you to write in response to my long cryptic love letters albeit you didn't write previously. When you have to read articles and books because I speak of them frequently and you just wanted to equate my thinking and reasons.

How then can I just let you go when you have already mandated infinity for us? How can one man be so into me even those stuff I do were not your usuals which became your rituals to check and like and be the best person and #1 fanatic of my literary prowess and dreams?

How?

And how can I turn my back from the one man who accepted my whole even if I looked at myself broken at times?

I just don't believe you love me because I know you love me.

I know that kind of love.

I just know.

When I am still a work in progress and in my awakening stage tracking the path to enlightenment, yet I know, deep in my soul that I found my twin flame. How, then, can I not reciprocate your love?

My inner silly girl will be in awe of you because you didn't just say you love me, you showed me what true love is all about. You tell me now, how can I not love you that much?