Black Rose

When I thought everything was okey and I held the world in my hands. I wore my crown steadily and tracked a single line on a steady cat-walk. Finances were okey with the ups and downs but still I was able to manage. Sighed in the instance when something quite shaky and told myself to carry on. 

Those chapters I already flipped closed and thought of vaulting them up. Emerged from being broken and believed everything will be yes! Yes! Yes! Okey! 

I maneuvered my life alone even when I was with someone who I accepted even he was quite a burlap to carry on my back. I just thought marriage was the norm. The fate. Even love was a choice.

Or so I thought I chose to when I wasn't given options at all. 

Then I set myself free. Flew the mountains echoing the cry of my overjoyed heart. I paid up high stake for this freedom. I faced the wrath of those who battled the depression of doctrines and beliefs. I gambled too many but after calling it all in, I took all the stakes. I won! Despite all the rumors and the neverending assumptions, I am living the life I want. 

I just live as an ordinary. The roller coaster ride and the howling when pain stroke. The laughter bouncing the walls of empty room. The feel of the cold grounds to my barefoot sipped to my veins. And then there was a sudden knock to my locked-rustic heart who believes in fairy tales.

 

And then my world run in circles. Lulled by a comforting hum. Sway in a safe hammock of romance. Serenaded by words in unison with the whistle of crossing winds and the birds chirps completing the orchestra.

My days were spent in laughters and giggles. I am all those princesses and I have the happily ever after crafted on a branch of an old tree until the whiplash. The urgency to evacuate. To just be in haste. 

And the world's serenity was destroyed. The puzzle pieces were dismantled. And the confusion dawned. Where am I now? Crossroad. And I stopped. 

And I just want to pull back.

To go back to my safe ground.

To hide.

To live like a kermit.

To just be.

To create my own forever of ok.

My definition.

My perspective.

My world.

My own.

So shall I just say goodbye?