ENLIGHTENED

WHY?

Sometimes, this simple question requires diversified response.  

I do not consider myself a writer yet, in the sense of being published or tagged as one. I am a hobbyist. And I really love writing just like loving eating a spam. Not often but addicted. 

As you might read from my previous blogs, I am an aspiring writer from the land of English as the second language.

Writing a YA Fantasy and my choice of discussing a bit of science is quite intimidating, ambitious and tedious especially I have multiple of duties to attend to. But I have came to a point of redefining what do I really intend to do.

1) I love writing. Yes, I have mentioned that.I always share my works through Twitter and Facebook regardless I get feedback or not and I feel good about it. I am satisfied with the fact that I really could write something. Not everybody is given that talent to write, I am not so talented though but I have that gift.

2) I am always afraid of  rejection, and even I might be so openly admitting it, that I am prepared to accept it, I am not. My self-esteem is just flourishing inch by inch. Not unless I'll see my name on the list that I will probably say I am a step higher than I was formerly.

3) I am not a call center agent nor from a well verse family who speaks Spanish or English all her life. I use language which I am comfortable using and I write in English language better off than speaking. But, but.. Writing in full texts, aiming a 60K word count novel is very ambitious. I use Google a lot, Wikipedia, thesaurus and all available references online. There were times that you have to translate Filipino sentences to English with some mixed up. It tied me. Sometimes, I feel like having an infarct in my brain. 

4) I didn't abandon my YA but I have taken a holiday writing it. I have ceremoniously sworn I will finish it by June but seems like it would take me longer. I have ongoing research for the novel, I intend to make a trilogy and I really stabbed my Excalibur deep down to a protruded stone in my neighbor's backyard.

5) I used to write romance when I was yet inexperienced and naive, presently, that genre is still strumming up and down my nerves and as a filler to my idle YA holiday, I am writing an installment love story titled Romantic Bones published through my wordpress blogsite.

6) One big struggle is having that desire to invade Amazon and other publishing sites for my first novel and succeeding ones yet I am stranded somewhere.

7) Criticism is like dropping lemon to a wound. Good to cry out. I easily fold once bruised but I think I have to be strong for my dreams to come true. Two things: criticism to shatter you entirely or pieces of that pebbles to make patches to my crackling confidence. It hurts being chastised but looking at the glass half full will surely push me to fill the other half. I am a dreamer and I have to wake up.

8) As much as I want to focus with my writing, I can not though the happiness it brings me once I am done with a piece is very heart warming just like watching Something Borrowed over and over again. Freeing you from the restraint of who you really are. This is what I love but...


9) Mina Esguerra, a published author, I considered a mentor, had invited me to write an article for a new blog they are brewing. I was in awe and still am.. It may not be glued on my face but the smile never leaves my heart. That is one pat on the back.


10) It is simply a hobby but some of my loyalists told me to make it public. And I am here. One good thing happened yesterday was our Pastor invited me to write for our Church Journal. Oh.My.Goodness! I write. I am good but can I really do this? But for the love of God, yes I will. I will be seeing God's grace once my talents unfold for His glory. I think, I have to glorify Him with this talent first before I can probably grace the world. Just a thought..*wink*

Yes, I am writing because I believe I can do it. I do not see it as something I can earn a living from but to share this God given talent I have locked up for long. 

Why?

Simply, because I can!