SELF-ACTUALIZATION

Been meditating for a week now yet I have not perfected the total calmness and silence. I realized I have a multifaceted life. Kaleidoscope. Chasm. Good that I have pulled myself back together before I lost totally to the hollow of a dark pit.

Based on the teachings of how to meditate, you really have to free yourself of any qualms, anxiety and worries before you start your meditation. If you intend to meditate and focus on something like work, love, health etc, you have to reconcile with that thought before shutting down your senses to silence. You can not achieve total oneness to your being if you have your conscious mind still open with your closed eyes. Big no!

That's what I was saying, earlier. I did prepare for the meditation. I freed my mind of any aberration and yet, my awareness of the outside world swept me away from the abyss I was trying to walk through.

Shut the thought down. Focus on your breathing. 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10 and back again to 1. Count the inhale, exhale as one. Lock your eyeballs to something like a white circle, blue whatever. Your mind will always play trick on you. All geometric lines will visit your closed lids. That's why it is also advisable to have eye covers. If you can totally collapse everything to silence, purrrfect!

My first few meditations were guided. Mostly guided.

One most helpful is the sleep meditation where you will be set to slumber. Your consciouness will be closed to any distractions including noises except for the voice guiding you throughout the meditation. Use earpiece by the way. Submit yourself fully. Relax and let your subconcious take over.

Subconscious is the record keeper of our mind. Everything is stored in it including what is not spoken. All the thoughts, actions and feelings you have on your conscious state are stored on your subconscious and this guided sleep meditation interact with it.

At first and for beginners, we need to be piloted. Read. Research or watch videos regarding meditation. Perfecting oneness with your whole being will really take some time. Long time probably depends on how you put up with your purpose.

Be patient.

I have done this everyday since last week.

One short in the morning, 10 minutes.

Set your alarm.

Put music or find a quiet place or find a natural source of sound, water, morning breeze, birds chirping whatever is available. There are so many available meditation music and sounds on Youtube, explore it.

But do not start meditation with empty or full stomach. It might also cause some interference. Feel and fill your body's need before you begin.

I do another meditation in the evening, 2 hours after dinner. After my 30 minute exercise. I do 20 minute of silence. Breath in and out. Focus. Be aware of the complete element of your body.

It helps made me calm. I am more aware of my self now. I have to perfect total silence yet but this abeyance is already an achievement. Even monks have difficulty starting so I am not a failure.

Through meditation you will realize that you are special as everybody else. You will respect yourself more. And you will acknowledge you are not inferior to anybody. That beyond self image, you know who you are.

Gradually, you will be aware that the energy you have spent living in this world is not futile. You might think of some bad occurence and consequences but they are part of the whole process. That element has traveled the whole universe. You still have exuberant time to haul yourself back together and be the ace that you have yearned to be.

And when you discover that you have power within you, jump start and be fueled to start anew.

New life.

New you.

Living one day at a time.

BEYOND

Everybody experiences a holding moment. It may be a heartbreak from a romantic relationship. A death of a loved one. A loss of a very important possession. Or simply, a hollowness. There are several articles to help cure this anxiety. To bridge this gap and to totally release yourself from this bondage.

More often than not you are not aware that what holds you is your own mind. Belittling yourself. Believing this moment is what you really deserve. But no! Harnessing your potential and focusing on your gifts can help you free yourself.

It's hard.

It sometimes carries you to a long journey.

Self help books and articles are recommended.

Talking to your friends. You don't need a lot, you just need to have three to five trustworthy friends and you are done.

Let go of what is holding you. Cry. Laugh. Be merry. Always think that this is your moment not anybody else's.

Finding yourself from the world takes sometime. You simply go on with the flow. You abide with what is norm and what is a must. You act base on what other people think you should do. You tend to blend with the shape the world has set for you. Even this, free yourself from this hold. The world should not use you, use the world same as using your brain to your advantage and not the other way around.

Try to have a quiet time for yourself each day. Minimum of 5 minutes. You can have up to an hour and enough depends how you tolerate silence. It helps. You are one with the whole elements and atoms of your being. You will be aware of your inner self.

Gaining inner peace is not easy. It surely will take sometime. Outside forces will surely hold or hinder you achieving this but you should start now or else you will never have your time.

Try with the affirmation meditation. I did and it really helped. This is not about religion but being at peace will surely enhance your praying skills and unknowingly you have created a new relationship with God. Loving yourself more will open your soul to the beauty beyond your physical eyes could see. As you journey with sharpening your skills, you tend to understand coincidences deeply.

That holding moment will be released and you will realize, it really happened and you have to let it go and you have to move forward. Being stuck does not mean forever. It is just for a moment, and that moment relies on how you define it, literally.

Anytime, whenever you are alone. Give yourself a few quiet minutes. Close your eyes. Focus on your breathing. Lock a target and take a deep breath. In and out until you master your sphere.

Deepak Chopra teaches to maximize your time. Divide your time to 24 hours. Sleep, meditation, exercise, work, lunch, short meditation, work, dinner and if possible 6-8 hours of sleep. Routine, yes, but what is the very essential of it is giving yourself the silence you deserve. The world offers a lot of distractions, recreations and entertainments. Either you go with the flow or be left behind. Regardless, how technology evolves, maintain the peace you have with yourself and no one could take out that space.

Love yourself.

Focus on your potential.

Center yourself beyond self-image.

Work on your peace of mind.

Soon you will be holding the moment not the moment to hold you.

KINABUHI

Sa daeayun nga pagpainu-ino ro daea-ura nga nagtakop sa pagpanumdum nahuyop it hangin. Nadaea sa kung siin pwede maw maghigop pa it mga kaibahan ag magbusdak it uean. Sa akon nga ginatindugan, mayad eon ru inadlaw ag uwa eon ako it mabahoe nga dueom nga nag-eandung kakon it mabuhay.

Ro kabuhi it tawo mahimutang mo nga matsa hampangan eang. Uwa ka kasayud kung asta san-o o kung basi pag-eubog it adlaw masamad eon ag ihaboy eon lang.

Namasyar ako sa daeanun nga kung siin may mga nagabaeabag nga mga higku ag mga gakueapot nga eapuk. May una pa nga kumunoy nga nagbira kakon paidaeum. Kabuhay ra akon nga pagpamuyot sa mga pwede ko kapyutan. Ra akon nga painu-ino nadueman ag nagpasugot ako nga huypon eang it hangin hasta makaeab-ut ako sa maea nga eugta ag igtu ako kaginhawa it madaeum.

Sa kaabu-abu nga akon nga gina-agyan. Kaeab-ut man it pueo nga dag-on bago ako kabugtaw sa madaeum ko nga pagtueog sa eugban sa punta gid it kumunoy. Abi ko, ratu eon ru akon nga kabuhi nga daehun hasta ako magkauban ag pagtae-tae it akon nga ngipon sa ang ngislo. Ru puno nagbunga eon ag napuslan nga katu isaea pa eang ka busoe nga kalbo. Ginhaboy eang sa tubi ag nagtubo nga makarun inugpukan eon lang.

Bukon it madali paghingabot makabuyot sa higot para makasaka eang paibabaw. Kabulig ru hangin nakaeab-ut gid ako sa daeanun kung siin maea ag may mga hilamunon ag amorseko.

Kung ako nagtuman eang sa ginsugo it mga magueang, uwa ta ako nagtaeang it akon nga daean. Abi ko katu hay tungod mabahoe eon ako makatindog eon ako ag tama eon ang utok. Pero saea gali. Sa tanan nga ginahambae it mga may uban, puro ngislo ag buktot, may kamatuuran.

Ru kabuhi, uwa gatapos nga pirde ka. Ro kabuhi gahambae kimo, musyon ay may hin-aga!

CURTAINS

Leaves withered 

On the drought land

Grass refused to grow some more

Pungent smell of fruits laden on the ground

Pavements mistless and no slime

The night called for a cold one

Promised to gnaw on her wrath

To throw enough spoil of her angst

The old sight never to happen again

The moon shadows the lifeless trees

Buildings abandoned

Properties left to oblivion

Lifeless

Futile

Then heard the guttural cry

One lost soul

One regretful mourning

When nothing was left

When no one to turn to anymore

Then came regrets

She came from a pit 

She knew well

Her comfort

Her life

Her everything

Yet, after death descends

She was left alone

To see the misery

The lost world

Because she hid herself

To the confinement of her world

When she realized she could walk

Could talk

Could run

Nothing was left

To share the world with her

Futile

Useless

Lifeless

Wasted. 

  

FRAGMENTS

Life is a matter of perspective

It's how you see yourself in 

A big loop of chaos

Your choice

You stay in the center

Be part of the whirl

Or be the peripheral

Onlooker

Lookout

Your mind would bend

Your heart would listen

But somewhere

Stuck in between 

There's that choice

To go along

Or stop

Or disappear.

-------

You stood

You laughed

You sang

And danced the tune

You conformed

With what is right

You acquiesced

The truth

You are bound

Yet again

You have your choice

Once

Once

Just the same

Decide

Be firm

Give yourself

A chance

To live

Happiness

Just like

How you want it

Not because it should be.

---

 If I am that

I could have

But I am not

So I won't

I have been

And look

What was?

What is?

What will be?

Void. 

NUANCES

Tweet, the bird says
It spreads its wings
But not strong enough
It tries to walk but feet
Feels like goo
It opens its beak some more
And tweet it sounds
Eyes dilate
Ears alert
Yet the bars
In its front
Spells the truth,
Caged.

-----

He didn't stare
He gawked
He smiled
He said lovely things
He never promised
He tested the water
Warm
He soaked his foot
Feet
Knees
Until totally
He was submerged
Yet when he looked up
He was alone.

-----
I am fine, said the ant.
Let's walk
Let's crawl
Let's see the sunlight
Let's feel the breeze
And the wind
Beneath our limp feet
Hold on
Is that water?
Hold me
Let's run
Don't let go
Hold still
Climb up
Hold tight
Oh my!
Don't
Don't
Why?
And the ant cried.

-----
If it's complicated
Think
Think
Think
And think
The brain works to its full maximum once it is pressured!
It has to free logic and reason or else heart will take over
And most often than not,
Disaster!

Random

I am but a butterfly
Flying lightly
Sipping nectar
Kissing the petals
Smelling the pistil
Dancing the wind
Beneath my fluttering wings.

I am a bee
Busy humming
Sniffing the scent
Of buds
And flowers
Of a very good morning.

I am a caterpillar
Crawling the green
Hugging the stem
Touching the dews
Sleeping in the hollow
Of the new blooms.

If only I am a bird
With the wings sturdy
As steel
I will soar up high
And be oblivious
Of my present predicament.

But no!
I am just a moth
Dreaming to be not
Wishing to be another
Oh there's the fire!
Would it hurt
If I will rest for awhile?